Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A promise for Christmas.

The last time I was here was for the eve of my last birthday, when Kenny finally said he wanted to get married to me. For a moment I couldn’t believe him, ‘cause Kenny is someone who doesn’t usually give in to anything that easily. He was holding my left hand and I could see a glee of love on his face in the candle light that spread graciously from the White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle cheese cake on the table. For the umpteenth time I smiled at my super strong confidence that Kenny was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He was leaving for California the next day and I wanted to put a pause to everything and just stay there, staring into his eyes. I was going to miss him. Two weeks was not a small thing, you know.
“We will get married by the end of Jan; that’s like about 3 weeks from now ?”, he was smiling intriguingly and I didn’t respond. I couldn’t take my eyes away and think.

“Anna?”, he embraced my palm and I was forced to come back to the real world.

“hmmm…yea…you were..hmm..saying..something ?” I was embarrassed at my own dreamer-attitude.

“Good gracious, Anna ! “, he was still smiling and I had to make my ignorance up and smile intelligently, like he was the one being ignorant.

“I was talking about getting married by this month end. 3 weeks from now, how about that?” , he continued ignoring my attempt to appear smart.

” Hmm…yes, that would be fantastic, I..umm…I just can’t believe you are saying this, are you serious Kenny ?” Now this time I was again looking into his eyes but not with passion, I wanted to see a sense of assurance.
He only gave his trademark smile again and I couldn’t ask for more. I trusted his gestures more than his words. Sometimes I had this strange feeling that I was just trying to personify the man of my dreams in him. But it couldn’t be true, or I believed so, because it’s not really a year since Kenny and I were a couple and am here again at Cheesecake factory in New York , 11 months after I married Kenny and 4 months after we separated. I sit here thinking of the changes that year has brought about, single, married and divorced, broken and mending, my emotional ride through out the year.

It’s the eve of Christmas. The city is a spectacle. There is this red feeling of love that just blooms around in here every winter. I walk in looking for a private kind of place and choose a corner table by the window which lets me stick around for hours, watching the world go by. I look through the glassed up walls. It’s nice to see people making merry. Happier faces, forgetting the stress and work, the cakes smelling yummier and hotter than ever, snow just kissing away the blues of the year, Churches getting ready with lights and carols, Christmas is just too beautiful.

“Good evening and a Merry Christmas to you ma’am, would you like to have something”
I look up at this man standing right beside my table, offering me a menu which has a tiny wreath attached and he is wearing a Santa Claus hat and a very warm smile.
“Ohh, yes…umm..Thank you” I politely take the menu and he leaves. I decide to go for a club sandwich and a Peach Smoothie.
As he comes by, I find myself in a hurry to close the menu and place my order. I avoid his eyes when I tell him I would like the beverage along with the sandwich. It has become a habit to avoid anybody’s eyes who smiles at me, these days. Broken heart, you know.

I resume my gaze through the glass and suddenly flip my mouth open, my elbow slips off the table. It can’t be. Oh gosh, this is insane, it can be…HIM. But it is and truth always turns hostile with me, always. Kenny Witherspoon, my ex-husband and his new-found fiancĂ©e Michelle Blossom enter Cheesecake Factory hand in hand, fully in love. He says something in her ears and she turns pink and gives him a soft little push. Oh my GOD, why does it always happen with me? I must scuttle or he’ll catch me. Kenny and his girlfriend saying hello to me ! I would rather die than make myself a fool in front of them. I look for my phone and pretend to dial a number and hurriedly flip off the seat. I hide my face in hair and fumble for an exit, not daring to look up or straight. Oh yes, thank god I can see the exit and Kenny hasn’t seen me or he would have called out my name. For once, I escape. Relieved but still wheezing, I hold the handle of the door to just flee when I hear “Ms Anna … “.
It was like a lump of thunder banging across my chest. For an instance, I think I must just move on. I am still gripping the handle of the door not looking back. I open,
“Ms.Anna Sweetmore” . It’s clearly loud enough for anyone in the restaurant to hear. I have no choice but to gulp in the remaining energy, close my eyes and turn around forcing a gentle smile into my own face. I can’t pull out my voice but I manage a
“Yes ? “
“Ms. Anna Sweetmore ? ”
“Yes, it’s me “ I look through the corner of my eyes for Kenny and he looks shocked and surprised. I am obviously visible beyond question.
I heave a deep breath, convinced that Kenny has also made out that I was trying to flee the place, seeing him.
“Am so sorry ma’am”, continues the waiter whom I had placed my order to, “there is a call for you at the reception”.
“What ?”
“Ms. Gennie Whitefield is on line”

-- Anna will be back

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

So far, so good

So….I seem to have quit getting bamboozled over not finding anything inspiring enough to write about all the time. Looks it’s alright if life gets a little sluggish. I am getting at ease with the luxury of getting paid for doing things that I only love at work. Anyways, I am kind of getting over the vacation-mood and seriously want some venture to be set in.

And the year so far has been okay enough. With all the resolutions and careful learning that I jotted down over the year end, I felt I usually lost the vigor of the New Year by the second week of it.

Kicked off my 2008 with a year end shopping spree. So that was loads of a reason to smile at the New Year. I bagged like 6 T-shirts for the cost of 3 and some junk stuff that would otherwise normally get stuffed into the closet forever (this time I am determined not to bury them there).

It's like, by the start of every year, I get a year older along. Yes, I turned 26, this Jan. With all the twists and bends life is riding on, I can’t do anything more than just nod when people tell me “You are a big girl now, get more responsible”. Sighing apart, it was a silent confession over the fact that ' ohh, yea, I am a big girl now”.

One of our buddies is back from a short term abroad visit and you can’t tell how much we’ve been waiting for her return cause so many celebrations had been put on hold until she came. Though it’s quite sometime since she returned and we have already resumed our plans, which were on the back burner, I want to give her a proper welcome-back, ’Smith, welcome back, it’s so nice to have you with us again’.

So, that’s kind of it; the year that just unwrapped, pretty cool, I’d say. And that made a post for me. Must say I am getting the attribute to keep my blog busy.

And by the ways, caught up with the music of Jodha Akbar and it’s a class of its own; you know, rustic, royal, mellow (some tracks) and easy on the ears, a pick for
hardcore Rahman fans like me.

Monday, January 14, 2008

With all due respect to those gorgeous models...

Kingfisher calendar of 2008 is an album of sexy lasses in swim suits ???? I mean, it’s some news that has chilled down a bit now, I know. But, was that even necessary for a calendar?

I had to shut close my mouth (which formed a bog O in disgust, of course) when some one just peeped into what I was looking at, wonderstruck. Before I could make myself clear as to I was NOT wonderstruck by the curves of those ladies, he was off and I can’t really imagine what went thru’ his mind. (Imagine, me flipping pages of pictures of girls in bikini, with an expression that probably seemed like I was….oohh gosh, that made my embarrassment for the day).
Anyways, planting the focus back, yea, Couldn’t Vijay Mallya think of anything more attractive to make the days of a year? Blame it on Bollywood, for glamorizing the confidence of going almost nude; let nudity be confined to movies or pageants where the body does the talking. But to have a calendar from a brand that so far was, well, de-glamourised yet stayed in style, this is definitely not so cool. Come to think of guys who can actually go wow with a smile, waking up to these pics every morning, I feel a sense of plain mockery. Probably, they were the target, Kingfisher focused. Forget about those picturistique scenes on nature, What happened to the photography that can talk or question the mind and still sooth the eyes. If Vijay Mallya considers the easiest way to reach people’s eyes is by sporting a handful of beach wears, it’s either a pity that our society is looked down as an easy victim to skimpy clothes or Kingfisher falls prey to the western glamour. There’s the class who still remain classy, with taste, you probably didn’t see us.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

First post of the year.

And there I go !! Tagged for the first post of the year by Bungi.
Self enlightening, I say !!

1. What did I learn?
I learnt that credit cards are like those one-night stands which could leave you with momentary pleasures but are extremely capable of sucking out,throwing over your due balances SMSs every morning. And you know your account is already running low. So the next time someone calls up and offers me a FREE credit card for a lifetime, I am gonna hack his brains with the same one he offered me last year and bury the card forever !!!!

2. What did I accomplish?
Well, I still have the to-accomplish list that I prepared for 2007 in shape and untouched. But, hey, it can’t be that bad. I must have done something. Yea, I, umm….lemme skip this.

3. What would I have done differently?
What WOULD I have ?? I would have done hundreds of things differently, given the chance to go back and live it all over again.

4. What did I complete or release?
A year in my 3rd company.

5. What were the most significant events of the year past?
Trip with mom n dad after a long time
Invested in an apartment
First anniversary of being married
Made some good friends
Brought back some lost friendships
I tried out quite a few things I’ve always wanted to like I tried making breakfast when my maid was away, I tried more glass painting, I baked. I might have not been successful, but who cares, am happy I did !

6.What did I do right?
Ignorance !!! I ignored so many silly things and just moved on. That made a lot of difference.

7. What were the fun things I did?
A lot ! Surprise weekend family trips, hanging out with friends, staying up all night, watching back-to-back movies, making a mess out of so many things I cooked, fighting with the hotel manager for reasons he was innocent of, playing pranks on buddies and a few more may be.

8. What were my biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?
I don’t know; sometimes I have this fantasy for starting my own dream job which gives me a come-down-to-reality kind of hiccup when I think of my actual work. My job and I have fallen out of love. I need to look for new destinies I want to travel to. That’s the challenge.

9. How am I different this year than last?
I would say I want to take some responsibilities. You know, get careful with money, clean up the house more often, spend the best time with family and enjoy myself more. But it’s too early to judge how different I am this year. Things have just started.

10. For what am I particularly grateful?
All the love around me. I am rich with a handful of fantastic people in my life. The joy, the strength, the care, the fun, the comfort, the peace, my life is blessed.