A promise for Christmas.

The last time I was here was for the eve of my last birthday, when Kenny finally said he wanted to get married to me. For a moment I couldn’t believe him, ‘cause Kenny is someone who doesn’t usually give in to anything that easily. He was holding my left hand and I could see a glee of love on his face in the candle light that spread graciously from the White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle cheese cake on the table. For the umpteenth time I smiled at my super strong confidence that Kenny was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He was leaving for California the next day and I wanted to put a pause to everything and just stay there, staring into his eyes. I was going to miss him. Two weeks was not a small thing, you know.
“We will get married by the end of Jan; that’s like about 3 weeks from now ?”, he was smiling intriguingly and I didn’t respond. I couldn’t take my eyes away and think.

“Anna?”, he embraced my palm and I was forced to come back to the real world.

“hmmm…yea…you were..hmm..saying..something ?” I was embarrassed at my own dreamer-attitude.

“Good gracious, Anna ! “, he was still smiling and I had to make my ignorance up and smile intelligently, like he was the one being ignorant.

“I was talking about getting married by this month end. 3 weeks from now, how about that?” , he continued ignoring my attempt to appear smart.

” Hmm…yes, that would be fantastic, I..umm…I just can’t believe you are saying this, are you serious Kenny ?” Now this time I was again looking into his eyes but not with passion, I wanted to see a sense of assurance.
He only gave his trademark smile again and I couldn’t ask for more. I trusted his gestures more than his words. Sometimes I had this strange feeling that I was just trying to personify the man of my dreams in him. But it couldn’t be true, or I believed so, because it’s not really a year since Kenny and I were a couple and am here again at Cheesecake factory in New York , 11 months after I married Kenny and 4 months after we separated. I sit here thinking of the changes that year has brought about, single, married and divorced, broken and mending, my emotional ride through out the year.

It’s the eve of Christmas. The city is a spectacle. There is this red feeling of love that just blooms around in here every winter. I walk in looking for a private kind of place and choose a corner table by the window which lets me stick around for hours, watching the world go by. I look through the glassed up walls. It’s nice to see people making merry. Happier faces, forgetting the stress and work, the cakes smelling yummier and hotter than ever, snow just kissing away the blues of the year, Churches getting ready with lights and carols, Christmas is just too beautiful.

“Good evening and a Merry Christmas to you ma’am, would you like to have something”
I look up at this man standing right beside my table, offering me a menu which has a tiny wreath attached and he is wearing a Santa Claus hat and a very warm smile.
“Ohh, yes…umm..Thank you” I politely take the menu and he leaves. I decide to go for a club sandwich and a Peach Smoothie.
As he comes by, I find myself in a hurry to close the menu and place my order. I avoid his eyes when I tell him I would like the beverage along with the sandwich. It has become a habit to avoid anybody’s eyes who smiles at me, these days. Broken heart, you know.

I resume my gaze through the glass and suddenly flip my mouth open, my elbow slips off the table. It can’t be. Oh gosh, this is insane, it can be…HIM. But it is and truth always turns hostile with me, always. Kenny Witherspoon, my ex-husband and his new-found fiancée Michelle Blossom enter Cheesecake Factory hand in hand, fully in love. He says something in her ears and she turns pink and gives him a soft little push. Oh my GOD, why does it always happen with me? I must scuttle or he’ll catch me. Kenny and his girlfriend saying hello to me ! I would rather die than make myself a fool in front of them. I look for my phone and pretend to dial a number and hurriedly flip off the seat. I hide my face in hair and fumble for an exit, not daring to look up or straight. Oh yes, thank god I can see the exit and Kenny hasn’t seen me or he would have called out my name. For once, I escape. Relieved but still wheezing, I hold the handle of the door to just flee when I hear “Ms Anna … “.
It was like a lump of thunder banging across my chest. For an instance, I think I must just move on. I am still gripping the handle of the door not looking back. I open,
“Ms.Anna Sweetmore” . It’s clearly loud enough for anyone in the restaurant to hear. I have no choice but to gulp in the remaining energy, close my eyes and turn around forcing a gentle smile into my own face. I can’t pull out my voice but I manage a

“Yes ? “
“Ms. Anna Sweetmore ? ”
“Yes, it’s me “ I look through the corner of my eyes for Kenny and he looks shocked and surprised. I am obviously visible beyond question.
I heave a deep breath, convinced that Kenny has also made out that I was trying to flee the place, seeing him.
“Am so sorry ma’am”, continues the waiter whom I had placed my order to, “there is a call for you at the reception”.
“What ?”

“Ms. Gennie Whitefield is on line”

-- Anna will be back